Final Cut and WordPress Dislike Me

SO……I am absolutely confident that my constant prayers have been heard. I’m sure Dr. Matthews is tired of seeing me at her office door; Derik can’t wait for the semester to be over so he won’t hear, “Hey Derik, are you in here? I have a question. This isn’t working. I can’t get this to open. Why does this look like this? Oh man, what did I do?”; Linda is glad she won’t have to see me hanging around in the lab til after dark; and ANDREW won’t have to see me cry ever again……anytime fairly soon. hahaha

I finished my photostory a few days ago but kept feeling like it needed “this” and “that” so I couldn’t leave it alone. I suffer from a disease called EPS, or Extreme Perfectionist Syndrome. I FINALLY got my video EXACTLY how I wanted it on Thursday. I kept tweaking it into the night until the lab closed and I headed to the hospital to watch the birth of my sister’s new baby. (YAAAYYYYY!!!) The next day, right after my 12-12:50 class, I headed back into the lab: Derik was sick, Dr. Matthews was out of her office and the secretary for Dr. Cali was out to lunch until 2:30. I went home, arranged some different music for my video, came back up to the lab at 4 and Dr. Mattews was in so I was able to get a keyboard for my CRAZY computer. After she left and my computer finally pulled up Final Cut: nothing but RED X’S EVERYWHERE.

I panicked but calmed down trying EVERYTHING I knew to do. Then, I looked around to make sure no one was around—and BROKE DOWN. lol After my little sob session, Andrew just so happened to come by needing to finish his video. He noticed something was wrong, I told him I have no idea what happened, that it WAS saved, where is everything, why isn’t this working, why, why, why, Andrew??? hahaha He looked a little unsure of what exactly to say to me but then helped me right away at trying to find the problem. He figured most of it out and the video played normally! Yay!! Andrew finished, left….guess what? My finished video wouldn’t load into wordpress, an e-mail, NOTHING. I saved it to an SD card and laughed in my lab computer’s face: “HA HA! I’ll just go home and load it onto my blog from home. SO THERE!” Little did I know that the Mac had put a curse on my SD card: I got home, opened my SD to watch the video–NO VIDEO WHATSOEVER. I panicked, had another cry session (these have tended to come quite regularly lately haha) and stepped away from the computer to take a break from it for an hour. I came back, it opened just fine in iTunes but still wouldn’t show any photos in other programs. I played with it and did all I could until 2 AM then gave up for the night. Today, I FINALLY managed to load it onto YouTube somehow—so HERE IT FINALLY IS!!!!!!!!!!!

You have no idea how many prayers, tears but no blood, fortunately, have gone into this video. I REALLY hope you enjoy the HOURS and DAYS (literally) of work that I have put into it. I am really glad I made a video that I can look back on and say, “Hey, I worked REALLY hard on this. I’m proud of myself.” My family can enjoy it, I can show it to my kids and they can show it to their kids. It’s not just any ol’ photostory project. It’s a 2 minute look into the life of my Papaw. I hope you enjoy it and can understand why this quirky, old man means so much to us.

As you know, I have had probably the most stressful, nerve-racking semester full of really, really, low lows yet a few joyous and wonderfully high highs. Unfortunately, school has really taken a backseat from time to time. My brother-in-laws were involved in a horrible car accident and went through almost two months of ICU, hospital stay, rehabilitation stay and constant doctor’s appointments. We have all had to pull extra shifts at work wherever we can find them, babysit, cook, clean, etc for each other. We have all been paying each other’s bills and hoping and praying that God will provide whatever we need. God has provided but it has been more difficult than I can ever explain to go through this ordeal, watching my great-grandma slowly pass away the immediate weekend after the wreck, losing my uncle to Stage 4 brain cancer…dealing with certain mean-spirited fellow students at school…….all while trying desperately to get my head above water in regards to my schoolwork. This semester has rolled on during the most EXTREME, unexplainably DIFFICULT season of my life. Yet, I am SO thankful that my now-husband persuaded me to do what I really love and supported me in beginning my photography business. He encouraged me to go back to school. He is the reason I am in the UTT Journalism program. I love my classes. I love my instructors. All of the fellow students…give or take a few. I was SO excited to begin this chapter in my life and it just feels like my morale and spirits took a big blow over the past couple of months. BUT, I am DETERMINED that I will NOT be broken down. I will finish out this semester with pride in my work knowing that I did the best I could; that I gave everything I had; that I may not come out with straight-A’s like usual but that it’s OKAY not to have perfect grades; that I learned SO MUCH; that I have made quite a few great, new friends; that I need to stop being such a perfectionist; that I need to be more prepared for hard times by just saving up every dime I have and buy a Macbook so I can do all my schoolwork at the hospital. hahaha

This season has been really tough but it has yielded some much learned life lessons, strong family bonding, a feeling of perseverance……not to mention a new baby nephew, Elijah Thomas, and another on the way for my sister- and brother-in-law (the one who stayed in ICU for weeks).


“But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name be joyful in You. For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.”
Psalm 5:11-12

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